Breaking up with someone that you’re in love with can be excruciatingly painful. Usually, it’s worse if the relationship lasted a long time. It goes without saying that the person who was dumped is usually the one who suffers more.
The only way to put an end to the pain quickly will be to get the one you lost back. One of the most common mistakes that people make is that they do all the wrong things when trying to win back their ex.
Their emotions do not let them think straight and what they think will work only ends up repelling their ex whom they’re hoping to win.
In this short report, you’ll learn 7 secrets to getting your ex back. Of course, this guide is just a primer to get you started. If you want a complete plan, there are several guides such as The Ex Factor which will really help you.
Now let’s look at the 7 secrets:
1 ⇒ Know If Your Ex Worth Fighting For?
Sometimes, not getting what you want is a good thing. This truism may apply to your breakup and if you should fight to win back your ex’s love or just let them fade into the sunset while you find someone else.
Of course, the reason you broke up is the most crucial determining factor.
There are many magazines that talk about methods of dealing with breakups and how to find a new partner, etc. It’s always about moving on with life or salvaging an almost broken relationship. It’s usually never about breathing new life into a relationship that is dead.
When someone dumps you, they’re in essence killing the relationship. That’s it. They want out. It’s over. That’s the hard truth and romanticizing the breakup isn’t going to change the facts.
First, you need to ask yourself who did the breaking up.
99% of the time, if you’re reading this, the other party did the breaking up leaving you lost, hurt, angry and discombobulated. Not a pleasant state to be in.
Now you need to ask yourself why?
Why did they breakup with you?
Did you cheat on them? If you’re a guy and you cheated, you deserve it. If you’re a lady, guess what? You deserve it too. But… but… all is not lost. So, you messed up and wished you had never given in to temptation, but the milk has been spilled. No point crying over it.
You need to make amends. In most cases, women tend to be more forgiving. With the right actions, you can win back your ex. If you cheated because of your weakness and it has nothing to do with your ex’s shortcomings, then yes, fight for your ex’s love.
Get a book such as The Ex Factor that guides you on regaining your ex’s trust and love and follow the advice in the book to the letter. Make an effort.
If you got dumped because your ex found somebody who is richer, better looking, more famous, etc. you need to ask yourself if you really want a shallow person as your partner.
Money can be earned if you apply yourself, looks fade, lust diminishes with time and all initial excitement will eventually die. What really matters is if your partner sticks by your side. If your partner can’t be with you when you’re at your worst, then they do not deserve you when you’re at your best.
That being said, be frank with yourself. Are you a slob? Lazy? Can’t be bothered to work? Spend more time on the TV than with your partner? Too lazy to be good in bed? Unappreciative?
If the fault lies with you, guess what? You deserve getting dumped. Let’s face the facts. If it’s you, then your ex is worth fighting for.
So what you need to do is get your act together and show your ex that you have changed. You have changed for them. Show them that they matter to you. They will come back.
Deep down, in your heart, you know why the breakup happened. You also know if they’re worth fighting for. You know. Just follow your heart, make the changes, get a book to guide you and do what you need to.
2 ⇒ Get Your Emotional Pain under Control
Yes… breakups are painful but it’s imperative that you manage your heartache well.
If you’re a woman and turn to your friends for support, you’ll probably hear them say stuff like, “Oh! You’re better off without that jerk! Someone better will come along.”
If you’re a guy, your buddies will probably throw you a can of beer and say, “Bro! The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else!” They’ll then proceed to try and bring you to clubs or joints where you can ‘hook up’ with someone new.
You may feel better while you are in the company of friends or supportive family. Yet, deep down, the pain will be there. When you are alone or about to sleep at night, your heart will ache for the one you miss. This is human nature.
However, how will you deal with the heart ache you presently feel? Follow the 4 tips below to find out.
- Decide if you are willing to accept the break up. A break up is not the end of the world and does not necessarily mean the relationship is over. Millions of couples around the world have broken up and patched things up and gotten back together.
So, if you decide to try and win back the love of your life, wipe away your tears, pull back your shoulders and it’s time to start planning a strategy to get them back. Don’t be a sniveling and groveling wreck.
Get a guide that teaches people to get back their exes and follow it.
- Start exercising. This is very common because people want to get back in shape to impress the opposite sex. However, in most cases, you may be feeling too down to exercise.
Choose an exercise that is exciting. Forget the gym, running, cycling and other boring forms of exercise that is so routine that your mind can drift off. Do something that engages your mind and body so that you can’t think too much about anything else.
Take up boxing or a martial arts. Go swimming. Start mountain climbing. Do exciting stuff.
- Take time to think. Relax. There are about 7 billion people on earth. Chances are extremely high that there is someone else out there for you.
- If you’re not planning on getting your ex back, cut off all contact with them. Remove them from your contact list, do not text them, don’t go out with them as ‘friends’, remove them from your Facebook, etc.
This need not be permanent but during the recovery phase, keeping your ex at arm’s length is essential to a quicker recovery.
3 ⇒ What You MUST NOT Do To Get Your Ex Back
The author, John Green, said it best with the line, “You can love someone so much…But you can never love people as much as you can miss them.”
The pain of missing them can seem unbearable to most people. That is why the first thing that the majority of people do when they get dumped is to quickly run back to their ex and beg for a second chance and try to save the relationship.
They want to get back immediately to end the pain. It just doesn’t work that way. Quite the opposite actually. The more you try to attract your ex, the more you’ll repel them.
Below are a list of 5 of the most common mistakes that people make when they get dumped. Avoid these mistakes at all costs. They can cause irreversible damage and you may never get your ex back.
1. Repeated efforts
Nothing is more annoying than someone repeatedly apologizing and begging to come back. Your ex will never take you back if you do this.
You have given up your pride by begging and given your ex all the power to say no. Do not put them on a pedestal. You’re a human being who deserves respect too. Cut off all contact from your ex for about 3 weeks.
They wanted to leave you? Fine. Let them have what they want. No contact. Let them wonder what happened. Let them miss you and get all concerned. They’ll definitely try contacting you.
2. Do NOT propose
So many guys make this mistake. After their girlfriend dumps them, they try to snare her with a proposal. Your relationship is already on the rocks if she has broken up with you. A marriage proposal is the last thing you should do.
Even if she left because you didn’t propose, do not do it. A marriage should be the result of a loving relationship, not an ultimatum.
3. Do not give gifts.
Why would you even think of rewarding someone who broke your heart? To make matters worse, some scummy exes take the gifts but don’t take their partner back. Never give a gift. You cannot bribe your way back into their heart.
4. Do not write letters.
Writing a love letter that is longer than War and Peace. This is another of those mistakes that is all too common.
Firstly, pouring your heart out on paper is not going to change their mind. Secondly, you don’t know if your partner secretly has someone on the side that they ditched you for. This letter might become a source of amusement. People can be nasty. Lastly, letters do NOT work.
5. Don’t fake being pregnant.
Girls have done it when their boyfriends have left them. You’ll just chase the guy further away and end up looking like a liar.
Avoid all the mistakes above and it’s half the battle won. You really want your ex back?
Get a guide that teaches you how to. There are a few very good ones available online. Get them. Apply the info in the guide and if all goes well, you can get the one you love back. Thousands have done it and so can you. There is hope.
4 ⇒ Your Actions Need To Be Counter Intuitive
Many things in life are pretty straightforward. If you wish to lose weight, eat less and move more. If you want to ace an exam, study for it. If you want to excel at your job, add more value to your work.
If you have just been dumped, beg your ex with lots of apologies and tears to give you a second chance. Right?
BEEEP! Wrong answer. When dealing with your ex, this is the last thing you should do. It’s really strange because these are the first things that most people do.
They think that by pleading, begging, arguing with sensible explanations, etc. their ex is going to take them back. Most people expect their exes to take them back immediately and forget the whole breakup episode even happened.
This is understandable because the pain is so bad and the experience so traumatic that most people want it to be over as soon as possible. The fastest way they can do that is to make their ex take them back immediately.
This is a huge error.
The worst time to beg your ex is just after a break up. It’s ok to be hurt but don’t start sobbing and screaming. Don’t beg. In fact, just quietly leave. Go back home and cry or shout. Do not do it in front of your ex. Be calm.
Forget the need to get back together immediately. In fact, you should cut off all contact with your ex for about 2 to 3 weeks. Give them time to miss you and worry about you. They can’t miss you if you’re always in their face begging for a chance.
Sort your life out. Start doing interesting things to take your mind off the breakup. It will always be lurking around and the pain will linger. But, it’s better to have a lingering pain while you’re doing something exciting like a kickboxing class rather than sitting curled up on the couch crying into a blanket.
Your mind will tell you that it really is in no mood to do anything. Your heart will have no mood for anything. Just vegetating at home may be exactly what you want to do. That is exactly why you must NOT do it. Get active and get your life together.
Train your body. Lose weight, tone up, and get fit. Make yourself look good. Even if your ex doesn’t want you back, if you look good, there’s definitely going to be someone else who wants you. Start working out.
After about 3 weeks, if your ex initiates contact, do talk or text them but keep it short. Do not be vindictive, act irritated or hurt, etc. Be calm. Do not talk about the breakup.
If they ask you how you’ve been, tell them that you did something interesting. Probably something that they always wanted to do but didn’t. Keep the conversation light.
If they ask you out, plan a date that is exciting. Go to the beach for a swim, try out an extreme sport, go to a casino, etc. Do something that gets you excited. Forget the same old boring dinner and a movie date.
If your date was exciting, the two of you will bond again. This is a very powerful tip.
5 ⇒ Use These 10 Tips to Make Up with Your Ex
It’s actually interesting to note that there is more information available about quantum physics than there is about getting over an ex. Even less information is available about how you can get an ex back.
This could probably explain why the thousands and thousands of people who get dumped do not know what to do and end up doing all the wrong things.
You do not need to acquiesce to a break up. There are many things you can do to win your ex back… but you must know what to do and exactly when to do them.
You will find 10 tips below that will give you a brief idea about what you should do or expect. It’s not a comprehensive list like what you’d find in The Ex Factor but it’s a start.
To get a complete understanding, you’re better off getting a proven guide on this emotional topic.
- Give your ex and yourself some space and time. Cut off all contact with them for about 3 weeks. Don’t flood their inbox with emails or bombard them with text messages. Avoid writing a love letter that is long enough to be a novella. Just leave them alone.
It seems like madness to do this but you must realize that music is the space between the notes. Let them go for now. You can come back for them later.
- Never be the one to initiate contact. After 3 weeks of no contact, when they call, you may assume limited contact. Keep the conversation light. No mention of the breakup.
- They may call you more than once. Slowly try and find out if they’re still interested in you. Pick up subtle cues, tone of voice, things they say that indicate they still love you, etc.
- Start out slow. There is no rush. Limited contact that slowly builds up.
- Should your ex ask you out, find something exciting to do that is different from the old, boring dinner and a movie. Try rock climbing, jet skiing, finger painting, whatever gets both of you excited. The two of you must bond.
- Let them see what they have given up. If you’re a girl, dress sexy. Seems shallow but it works. If you’re a guy, get muscular.
- Figure out why the relationship ended. Change things and avoid the mistakes that happened.
- Sometimes you just have to say sorry. If it was your fault, apologize. Be sincere. Once or twice will do. Not a thousand times.
- If you notice that they are starting to get interested, do NOT rush things. A tiger crouches before it leaps. Just wait until they feel like they really want you. Then you can pounce on them and make them yours.
- Lastly, there are a few excellent guides on getting your ex back online. They’re inexpensive and very effective. Get one and put it to use. Don’t assume you know it all.
6 ⇒ Recognize The Tell-Tale Signs That Your Ex Wants You Back
Doing what was mentioned in this report so far is enough to make almost all exes wonder if it was such a good idea to break up. Then they may start wondering if they made a mistake. What if they do not find anyone better? What if nobody else is willing to put up with their nonsense? What if? What if? What if?
Then you will start seeing signs. Signs that indicate that your ex may be trying to weasel their way back into your life. Do not be too quick to take them back and never ever tell them that your show of strength is basically a false front.
Below are a few signs to look out for that will tell you that your ex wants you back.
- He tries calling you after the breakup to see if you’re ok. This is an excuse to talk to you and see if you’re suffering. Avoid their calls in the beginning.
- When you do talk to your ex, they ask if you’re seeing other people. Ah hah! A dead giveaway. They’re worried they’ll lose you. Always say yes… even if you’re bawling your eyes out alone at home.
- Your ex still flirts with you. If it’s a guy, ignore him. He probably wants sex. If it’s an ex-girlfriend, ignore her too and tell her that you have to go meet Tatiana. Or Michaela. Whatever exotic name you choose is up to you.
- Your ex makes comments that maybe the breakup was a mistake, they miss you, etc.
- Your ex looks at you and touches you in a way that both of you were used to.
- Tries to talk with you about the breakup and how it could have been avoided
These are some of the most common signs. There is no hard science to back anything up when it comes to relationships.
7 ⇒ Follow A Proven Strategy
Once you start seeing the signs that your ex wants you back, you’re on the right track and hopefully the two of you can work things out and have a long and rewarding relationship.
Always remember to rein in your emotions and follow a strategy when getting your ex back. Do not let your emotions rule you. Most people try and wing it… and they fail miserably. Their ex ends up with someone else and there is nothing left but regrets and bad memories.
It’s ideal to get a bestselling guide like The Ex Factor which lays out a proven step-by-step plan for you to follow. All you need to do is stick to the plan. It doesn’t get easier. If you can do that, your chances of getting your ex back will skyrocket.